The job of mom

Ok, so I've said it a hundred times, but once more for the record. Why didn’t anyone tell me how gross this job of being a mom is? Oh sure, I watched my mom change cloth diapers, clean throw-up from the front row during sacrament meeting and do endless loads of laundry, but did I really appreciate the service here? I mean really, the diapers weren’t hers, neither was the throw-up, and I'm pretty sure my mom's whole wardrobe at the time consisted of three hand-me-down t-shirts and a pair of jeans, so the majority of the laundry couldn’t have been hers either. But, there she was wiping, cleaning, sorting, sanitizing, and probably praying we'd grow big enough to do these disgusting tasks ourselves. Now, I knew having a baby was work and I'd changed my share of dirty diapers, but no one ever warned me about "blowouts". I'm talking the kind that run down the legs and end up in their socks! Or, how about the baby who spits up after every feeding regardless of weather or not that shirt you're wearing is DRY CLEAN ONLY! Or that particular nut of yours (or mine, in this case) who decides to take off his diaper and "paint" the walls, crib, bedding and himself, IS THERE NO END? I mean what kind of hair gel would that make anyway?? Disgusting!! I even expected the occasional messes, but no one told me I'd have to vacuum up the dirt from the plant that walnut pulled over for the seventh time today or that bananas aren’t fully digested after 4 hours in the baby's stomach. And why is it that every time I put clean sheets on my bed, walnut throws-up, pees or worse on them, am I destined to sleep on foul sheets for the rest of my life? Will I ever get to wear a clean shirt again? Will my husband forever think I smell like sour milk? Then again, who but a mom willingly wipes a No.2 butt and then praises her kid for going in the "big boy" potty, kisses that snotty face and feels pride to see that cute little nose is so similar to her own, and wears spit-up to relief society proudly after ignoring the laundry to play "Jack and the beanstalk" with her two year old? I know this part of the job won't last forever and I feel sad. I applied for this job, I prepared myself for it, I prayed I would get it, I cried with joy when I did. I work hard to be good at it. I make mistakes, but I learn. I love this job.